Category Archives: Social Media

Let’s Talk About Conditioning

We experience being conditioned in so many ways.
All around us feelings and beliefs are becoming stronger and more opined.
Conflict is everywhere and people are more resolute in their choice of thinking,
but are we thinking for ourselves?

Voices are louder, and opinions and dogmas more exacting. We are polarised as people, from our conflicting beliefs in religion, politics, global warming, refugees and immigrants, war, basic human rights, gender, sexuality, diversity and so much more. Why are we so divided, and are we being manipulated?

Every principle for personal growth, once institutionalised, shifts from serving as a vehicle for self-actualisation to serving the actualisation of the vehicle itself. We are no longer nurtured, but managed. – Matt Berry, A Human Strategy, quoted in The Pattern of the Double Bind in Mormonism

The information we consume is biased. Barely any information these days is impartial. The material we use to develop our thoughts, opinions, and beliefs are often flawed, at best just by people’s innocent preferences and at worst we’re being controlled by institutions like religions, politicians, social media, news and media, and both data and opinions forged from others with motives.

We are beginning to understand how our minds and our cognitive structures work in a scientific nature. We live in a now society, we don’t have time to question, to wait and ponder, and we grab at ideas that appeal to us. Those that give us information can teach, liberate, offer positive ideas, build us up, offer compassion and inclusivity, and create peaceful societies. But they can also be destructive, controlling, abusive, oppressive, inciting conflict, and creating a divisive and dangerous society.

Why do we fall for the smooth talk of con men and politicians – if they’re not one and the same in some instances? These models can be either subtle or very open, but millions fall for them. How do we move from being nurtured to being managed?

If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back. – Carl Sagan, Demon Haunted World

To learn, find knowledge, and form opinions we use cognition. Cognition is reasoning, understanding, and intellect. Two other powerful emotional forces go hand in hand with cognition: consonance and dissonance. Consonance is a feeling of harmony, being in accord, the pleasure of knowing you’re right, and it’s a feeling we all seek because it makes us feel good! Dissonance is the opposite; conflict, discord, and disagreement, and that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you might just be wrong. When our cognitions clash, we either fight it struggling to find resolution, or we embrace the opportunity of learning and discovering. We often prefer to prove ourselves right and feel better, than to admit that we are wrong, and find that we need to change or alter our preconceived ideas or beliefs.

Religions, these days, often use soft conditioning, drawing us in with love and ideas of saving and rescuing us, then slowly teaching us doctrines and requirements, leading to bringing us round to their way of thinking. Old style fire and brimstone is much rarer these days as people are less enticed by it in our climate. Politicians also work slowly on us, leaning in on general fears and needs in society. We fall into accepting the things we’re taught. After all we’ve been programmed to accept knowledge imparted to us by parents and teachers from a very young age. We believe many things simply because they’ve been taught by people we love and trust.

I never questioned the religion I’d been brought up in as a child because it was simply the way we lived. It was right because my parents had taught it, and my parents not only knew everything, but loved me and wanted the best for me. So, going to church wasn’t a choice, it was a given, the same as going to school was.

As a teenager that changed because I started thinking for myself, but when you believe something so thoroughly, dissonance is a painful process. When someone tells you “You only believe this because it’s all you’ve ever known,” there’s a dissonance that hits so hard you either have to face it and question it, or you ignore the discomfort and justify, rationalise, or deny it. I denied it. I couldn’t face the pain of what I’d known all my life to be wrong. That’s not to say I didn’t question it, I did and it hurt. But I also listened to what I’d been taught, and then tried my hardest throughout my twenties to convince myself I was the perfect Mormon.

After all, there is no need to be objective when you know you are right. – Chris L. Morin, Suddenly Strangers

It’s easier to continue to believe what you think is right, instead of researching and finding out you might not be.

We all have bias, even if we can’t see it.

Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favour, and recall information in a way that confirms or supports one’s prior beliefs or values. – Wikipedia

Our brains work with patterns, and when we use them our cognition grows, patterns help the neurons in our brains connect information and create knowledge. So, confirmation bias can be good as it shows us that ‘so and so must be true because then such and such always happens,’ confirming its truth. It’s how we create and understand language, maths, and science for example. It’s also why when there’s a discrepancy, it can be easier to discount or ignore it because it doesn’t make sense, and things should make sense.

I’m using my religious experience to demonstrate this because it’s easy for me to recognise it. When I was young and learned difficult things about the history of the religion I was brought up with, for example polygamy or the Mountain Meadows Massacre (where Native Americans were slaughtered by a group of pioneers), I ignored it, or found ways to make it either palatable or an acceptable part of Mormon history. I concentrated about the good things in that religion and told myself I couldn’t possibly understand all the difficult things and I wasn’t expected to, and that God would make it right in the end. I reinterpreted what I didn’t like or didn’t understand.

I saw another example when I recently watched an episode of ‘Go Back to Where You Came From’ on Channel 4, a programme taking several Brits with highly racist and anti-immigration views, to places many immigrants try to escape and come to Britain from. One of the women on the show believed that all immigrants should be stopped no matter what they’ve been through, but when she arrived in Somalia she experienced the fear they live under and was genuinely frightened for her own safety. After a few days seeing what Somalians go through in a city without adequate governance, laws, safety, and in utter poverty, she spoke again. This time though she’d been visibly moved she was unable to give up on her prejudice, and commented that it wasn’t her responsibility to help these people, and that what was required was for them (the people) to make a government, to get sanitation, and to build an economy. She couldn’t understand that none of these things could happen while the country was still in a state of war and conflict. She couldn’t deal with cognitive dissonance and moved to confirmation bias instead.

All I want is compliance with my wishes, after reasonable discussion. – Winston Churchill

We give into our biases because it’s easier than recognising them and changing them. Where does bias or opinion come from? Parents, upbringing, social standing, friends, teachers, religions, politics, social media, leaders, all affect our thinking. Obedience to authority is ingrained from the beginning.

Blind obedience is dangerous and confining. Think of Hans Christian Andersen’s – The Emperor’s New Clothes. When two con men arrived and weaved new clothes for the Emperor that they said were invisible to those who were incompetent or stupid. Neither the Emperor nor his minions could admit that they were invisible without being seen as fools. So, the Emperor wore his new clothes out in the street and all the people uncomfortably went along with it, not wanting to appear stupid. It took a child to point out that the Emperor was naked for the townsfolk to agree that they’d been fooled.

We often agree with something, even if it’s uncomfortable, because it’s easier, or we don’t want to think we’ve been fooled.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. – Voltaire, Miracles and Idolatry

The dogma of the group reflects the psychology of the leader. – Dr. Michael Welner

Don’t set yourself aside. Your intellect, knowledge, and learning are constantly developing. Don’t let organisations or individuals control your knowledge, and the information you can gather to make educated choices. If you are told, or directed to only find information in one place, then challenge that. Look elsewhere, talk to more people, and learn more widely. Seek truth.

Past events, it is argued, have no objective existence, but survive only in written records and in human memories. The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. And since the Party is in full control of all records, and in equally full control of its members, it follows that the past is whatever the Party chooses to make it. – George Orwell, 1984

I shudder at the list of apparent falsehoods for which I would have given my life. – Brad L. Morin, Suddenly Strangers

We have power in thinking, questioning, studying, and learning. We need exposure to different opinions, information, and cultures to be able to form well-rounded thoughts and concepts. If we’ve only ever been exposed to one sort of culture than we cannot possibly believe we understand what another thinks, or how another lives. That just encourages the believe that we know what is best according to how we’ve chosen to live our lives, and that others should be doing the exact same thing. So many different ways of life exist on this planet, and all peaceable ways that don’t choose to hurt another are equally valid, even if they’re different to our – or the majority – choice.

What a tragic loss that often we are exposed to only one religious or philosophical view. In this group-facilitated…narrow-mindedness we find the roots of prejudice, bigotry, and hatred. – John D. Goldhammer, Under the Influence

So, can we reject the conditioning we’ve been through? Can we even recognise it? It can be incredibly difficult to recognise and accept when we’ve been conditioned or controlled. We generally believe our thoughts are truly our own, and it’s a tough pill to swallow to recognise we need to change to alter our thought processes or our beliefs.

It took me a long time, a lot of soul searching, and a great deal of questions – which were refused answers – in my faith, before I was able to accept that the history of my church and its founder were not as clear cut or favourable as I’d been taught they were. Following that, it’s like if you pull one brick from a tower – or Jenga – then everything fails or falls. But it mattered to me that what I followed was correct, both morally and honestly. Leaving a religion like I did, or changing your mind and seeing things differently when you learn and accept reliable information, is powerful and edifying.

It is morally as bad not to care about whether a thing is true or not, as long as it makes you feel good, as it is not to care how you got your money as long as you have it. – Edmund Way Teale, Circle of the Seasons

We are individuals, and we can overcome conditioning if we activate our thought processes and authenticate what we learn. If we are struggling with information that opposes what we’ve been taught, the best thing we can do is to move aside and evaluate.

…we can best see a group or an entire culture for what it really is by removing ourselves from it. – John D. Goldhammer, Under the Influence

Find yourself. Don’t be influenced by social media and its celebrities, or political parties that shout the loudest. We can easily see the damage around us from false media and news reporting, from biased data and statistics, from information that masquerade as facts, and from cults – both political and religious – that want us to follow them unquestioningly. Questions and information are power. We should always use our intelligence to decipher the truth and follow it with courage, ethics, compassion, and love.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

2 Replies

Being kind is a choice, and it says much about people
whether they choose to be cruel or to be kind. Choose to be kind.

I was going to post a different blog today – I’ve decided to post only once a month due to writing and family commitments – but today’s subject is too important to miss, especially after the weekend’s events.

Friday brought us Valentine’s Day, an annual celebration of love, compounded by a recoupling in the evening’s episode of Love Island, the TV show offering young singles a chance to find love. Love was in the air, and both love and compassion should be in the air every day, not just Valentine’s. I mention the day and the show because the very next day Caroline Flack would take her own life. Caroline was very much weaved into the tenets of Love Island, being the former host and a romantic herself, and was described as someone who loved being in love.

Her death is complicated and none of us can know the reasoning behind her decision, and the discussion surrounding her loss is made more complex by an impending trial for domestic abuse. None of us are here to debate her wrongs or failings, we all have those, and not one of us is in a position to throw stones. But no one can fail to see the relevance of both tabloid and social media as a likely contributory factor in her loss.

The weeks following her arrest offered an onslaught of media attention and endless stories in the tabloids. I heard a quote that over four hundred stories about her appeared within four weeks or so, not to mention the amount of tweets, opinions, and comment they gave life to. How could any one of us deal with kind of scrutiny and vilification? I certainly couldn’t.

I suffer from severe anxiety, depression, and a host of other issues, and not even a hundredth of what she was laid bare to would have left me okay. One single negative tweet can have me contemplating my place in this world, and I understand that, so I am careful what I say online. So, if someone like me who has attempted suicide, regularly self-harm, and live with constant anxiety can’t deal with that kind of attention, why do we think celebrities, personalities, and even royals are stronger? Celebrities have emotional and mental health conditions, they have lives as complicated as ours, they struggle, and they try to live the best they can. They have faults and flaws just like we do, but when they make a mistake they do it inside the glare of the spectator.

Mental Health Foundation - Stress - The Last Krystallos

Imagine making your mistakes in the limelight and scrutiny of the public, and being tried and convicted by uninformed armchair judges.

It’s easy to sit anonymously behind a screen and damn everyone we disagree with. We’ve seen it with Brexit, Trump, Johnson, Meghan and Harry, even coronavirus, and much more, but it’s not healthy when debate is uninformed or judgemental. We’ve seen a big move to fact check information online, especially when politics is involved. How often do we check our facts before posting our opinion, or sharing that meme that’s doing the rounds? We should. We must.

And this leads to the bigger issues. Our media is very much controlled by a few select outlets: tabloids and big media personalities, and I’d currently consider government too. When our media is owned by huge corporations including the media mogul Rupert Murdoch we often only hear the things they want us to hear. Personalities, like Piers Morgan, Katie Hopkins etc, also tend to gain traction with loud and widespread controversial voices. These voices have a responsibility to be just and respectful, and not incite hate or bullying.

Both Light and Dark - J. K. Rowling - The Last Krystallos

Journalism does need to report what’s happening, but what happens when those reports become judgemental, mean-spirited, bullying, and downright persecution? Both bullying and sensationalising within the media has become endemic.

We are becoming a nation, a world, enslaved to bad news. We need more good news, we need more love, more kindness, and more good things all round. We need to be careful with what we say, not because we’re walking on ice around people not to offend, but because we are good-hearted genuine people who don’t want to hurt those around us.

Life is hard and we often have no idea what truly goes on in the lives of our friends let alone people outside of our circles. We’re all fighting battles no one can see.

Kind words are easy to speak - Mother Theresa - The Last Krystallos

It’s important we are there for each other, and that spreads further than just our own back yard. If we interact globally, our circles widen and our influence grows. We need to reassess our ethics and priorities. Our words can either harm or comfort, it’s up to us which we choose. We can help others reach their potential, help them to succeed, and support those who need it. We can work together, and kindness and compassion are paramount to achieving that.

Kindness is a base response, it’s automatic, it’s a default we should all have.

Gottman, a german researcher who worked with couples at The Gottman Institute, declared that: Contempt is the number one factor that tears couples apart, and Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together.

Let’s take contempt, hate, dislike, animosity, disrespect, all those things that contribute to bullying, away and replace them with kindness, love, compassion, empathy, validity and everything that will cement a community together in this wild, difficult, uncertain thing called life and become a stronger more supportive society.

Kindness has a beautiful way of reaching down... unknown

Kindness isn’t hard, it’s a natural setting that all children have until prejudices and differences become apparent. Let’s reclaim it in our social media environment and in our personal lives until it becomes our default.

Kindness is more than deeds. It is an attitude, an expression, a look, a touch.
It is anything that lifts another person.
(C. Neil Strait)

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

Belonging, Being a Loner, and Finding your Tribe

5 Replies

I’m a loner. I’m not alone, I’m not lonely – just a loner.
But when I find my people, I am one with them and of them.

I’ve always wanted to belong. I ache to belong, to find my place. Outside of my family, this has been so difficult. In Real Life, except for inside my own four walls, I’ve never felt I belonged anywhere. For a long time, for many years this saddened me. I spent my early adult years longing for an attachment outside of my family and this yearning crushed me.

An introvert by nature with severe social anxiety meant close friends would always be hard to find and maintain. I held back, fearful of pushing myself where I wasn’t wanted, or of people leaving. I developed the skills of being a loner. I knew I could always trust myself, so my own company became comfortable, along with the close companionship of my husband and children. The only place I belonged was with them.

I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full. My body loved. And my soul understood - Melissa Cox - The Last Krystallos

I used to be lonely in real life, but I lost myself in writing, in creating worlds and characters, and with each word, line by line, chapter by chapter, I became a fulfilled loner. I value my time alone, as much as I adore my time out with my family. I relish time to sit and be me, as much as I love sitting in a coffee shop with one of my children. I jealously guard my own time.

But this doesn’t mean I’m antisocial, or adverse to friendships. In real life I have, maybe three people, outside my own family, who I feel I could go for a hot chocolate with and chat when I need to. And this is okay, because the pressure to physically socialise doesn’t weigh me down. I can still develop real life friendships.

Heathens - Twenty Øne PilØts - the last krystallos

I often hear that technology has ruined communication, or made us lazy, or stopped us from developing relationships. You’ll never find me blaming tech when it has exponentially enhanced my life in so many ways! As a loner with social anxiety I avoid social events and activities as much as I can. Tech doesn’t change that. That’s who I am. If I was a gregarious extrovert, I might be out partying, but I’m not, so, much of my social life is technological. I socialise online.

People talk with frowns of teens being glued to their phones and not getting out and enjoying themselves. Have you ever stopped to discover that the extroverts are still actually out having fun in person with their friends – they never stopped doing that – and the introverts with their noses stuck to their phones are also conversing, messaging, laughing, and sharing and having fun with their friends? Some love to go out and watch a movie with mates then go for a drink afterwards. Others are watching movies in sync on Netflix with their friends in other countries or towns then chatting about it after in the comfort of their own homes. We are perhaps, via tech, the most sociable and informed society ever!

I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see - Douglas Pagels - The Last Krystallos

I discovered my people on social media. My friends, my tribe, are right there at my fingertips whenever I need them. They span my own country, they live in Wales, England, Scotland, and Ireland, and they live further afield – in the US, Canada, Australia, Israel, Europe, and in many other places. They are moments away from me when I need a virtual hug (I get plenty of real ones at home), advice, laughter, news, deep conversation, superficial conversation, and best of all – love.

They love me for who I am, I don’t need to fit into their schedule, we don’t need to answer private messages immediately, tech offers us relationships with people we’d never have discovered at home without it.

Social media is not perfect, but it helped me belong. It helped this loner discover a plethora of like-minded people, of people with differences, people who disagree with me but love me anyway, people who have time for me. I know some of these people in real life, some I will never meet, but they all have a place in my heart. And I am never lonely.

true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world - Brene Brown - The Last Krystallos

Do you belong?
Are you happy with your place in life and who you are?

When We Judge Others Unlikable – Starring Strictly and X-Factor on Social Media

2 Replies

I’ve been watching Strictly Come Dancing and X-Factor
and people are very complimentary about the male contestants in general,
but the women are another story.

Why do we judge people so much without true information? And why are confident, talented women so easily branded unlikable?

I’m very confused at the amount of judging someone’s personality on talent or media perception alone, especially women. For a start, personality is not based on talent or what we do, it’s who we are and we should never judge personality on hearsay, or without knowing someone.

Let’s take Alexandra Burke and Grace Davies. Both very talented at dancing and singing – their style might not be your cup of tea – but there’s no doubt they are amazing at what they do. However, I’ve seen so many Tweets and Facebook statuses branding these women unlikable, up themselves, over-confident etc… and it’s disturbing.

Both are open, friendly, confident, bubbly, talented, and much more, all the things we encourage our children to be when they are growing up. Yet these women are perceived as unlikable.

Grace Davies X-Factor Alexandra Burke Strictly 2017 Images- YouTube, BBC, PA, ITV

Grace Davies X-Factor and Alexandra Burke Strictly 2017: Images- YouTube, BBC, PA, ITV

How can women win or become equal when internalised misogyny is so prevalent? It appears that the majority of the comments come from women about women. Why are we tearing each other down over alleged personality?

Alexandra has danced beautifully in Strictly, been confident in her ability, smiled, wept (she lost her mum just weeks ago, so being emotional is expected), yet is judged an unlikable diva. Aston Merrygold (who lost his place a few weeks ago) was at a similar level of talent and confidence, and was widely liked and applauded. It’s been the same with Grace on X-Factor, another confident woman writing her own songs and singing with passion, bubbly and excited at the place she found herself in. The all-male group, Raksu, who won X-Factor also wrote their own songs, sang with confidence, and were friendly, fun and open, receiving much praise. Why is it different for women?

Both these women have fought, trained, studied, and worked exceptionally hard to become as good as they are in their fields, and yet, when it pays off we are so quick to judge their personality on appearances in the media.

If we show confidence in ourselves we’re branded unlikable.

I would hate to be judged on my public persona. It’s not me. I remember my form tutor at school in 4th Year (Year 10, I think) writing in my school report that I was aloof. I was devastated by that comment. I have never been aloof, shy, yes, aloof, no. It hurt me for years. I’m quiet, I build barriers, I live with crippling anxiety, yet I can be very confident teaching, speaking, and working in public. I hate being judged on a brief appearance, and a judgement is not valid until you know me.

We all have a personality, good and bad, and we can like or dislike who we want – I don’t like everyone! But I’ve become very disturbed at the way people, women in particular, have been branding other confident, successful women unlikable without knowing them.

Scrolling #xfactor & #Strictly Twitter & it's not hard to see why #women still have so far to go in the fight for #equality. So much hate & internalised misogyny for #Grace & #Alexandra. So many women who complain about the personality of strong, confident & talented women.

— Lisa Shambrook (@LisaShambrook) December 2, 2017

Social media offers us an instant way to comment, to offer our opinion, to voice our thoughts without thinking (I do it too), and to become what X-Factor calls the fifth judge. We are armchair commentators, but we need to be charitable and kind to those we talk about.

I wouldn’t dream of tweeting that I dislike Alexandra, or claim that Grace is a diva – how would I know? I don’t know either woman. I can see that they are strong, confident, focused, and fighting for their place in an overcrowded world, but unless I know them personally, I won’t judge them on a few hours of edited television or a sensationalised newspaper article. We often comment without understanding that people in the spotlight are just like us. They may have developed a thick skin, but what we say can hurt, and our discernments are often flawed.

Say and believe what you wish in the privacy of your own home, but let’s be careful and kind online, and in our expressions of judgement.

Can we – and all those around us both in real life and in the media – not be happy and confident within our own bodies and minds without it being mistaken for being aloof and arrogant?

Have you ever been judged unfairly?
How did it affect you?

Politics Is Ugly: Can We Change It?

16 Replies

I don’t often, if ever, get political on my blog, but I am political.
I am a big fighter for human justice, fairness and compassion,
and the way the world is lead is important to me.

I don’t want this post to be about my political leanings. We all have them and in this world, at least where I live, we are free to air them. I realise not all parts of the world have this freedom, and I am very grateful that I live with political freedom. Our views, our opinions and our politics are our own and we are allowed them.

Politics is getting very ugly.

Some of you, who are much better historians than me, will point out that politics has always been ugly. That it’s always been full of lies, deceit, ambition, and corruption. You’re probably right. But with the advent of social media, we are perpetuating it ourselves. I’ve been accused of sharing social media posts, memes, and articles without checking the facts, and years ago I did, until I began checking facts before reposting. I try not to post anything, except my opinion, unless I’ve checked facts first, though I will post others’ opinions, because I am allowed to do that too.

Brexit was ugly. Brexit (the UK Referendum on whether to leave the European Union) was perpetuated with lies no matter which side of the argument you were on. It was undercut with lies, xenophobia, name-calling, and scare-mongering on both sides. The party leadership contests are the same, and don’t get me started on the American Presidential election.

This post isn’t about my politics, but I do want to discuss the ugliness of politics. PMQs (Prime Minister’s Questions) in the British Parliament is ugly, always has been. They laugh, bully, put each other down, and generally act like they are on a school playground, or in a farmyard, though these analogies are very unfair to both children and farm animals. PMQs is game playing, on both sides. It’s like Good Cop Bad Cop. It’s about half an hour on a Wednesday when the Prime Minister answers MP’s questions in the House of Commons. But it’s hostile.

If you know me well, you will know my political leanings. I don’t hide them, and recently on Twitter I shared the following two tweets when Theresa May our new PM took her first PMQ session:

Found #PMQs so sad… All our new PM May could do was playground bullying. Serious points made and cruel retorts thrown back. Tory Standards

— Lisa Shambrook (@LisaShambrook) July 20, 2016

#PMQs Yes, #TheresaMay reminded me of someone… not only Thatcher, ugh, but of every bully I've ever encountered in my life.

— Lisa Shambrook (@LisaShambrook) July 20, 2016

I got a lot of agreement and some opposition, that’s cool, it’s my opinion after all. On the 13^th July, I listened to Theresa May’s speech outside number 10 Downing Street with interest. She had just become our new Prime Minister and her speech was very good. She spoke about poverty, welfare, people, and the struggles we go through every day. She, according to her speech, knew exactly what state the country was in and vowed to change it and help us. Within days her Cabinet was reshuffled and familiar faces we’d hoped to see gone were there, and our faith was diminishing. And, yes, how you feel will be akin to your political leaning. I’m allowed mine.

Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn Photo Source

So PMQs was the first time to see her in action. And this is where I saw the true ugliness of politics. Every question was blocked by posturing, jibes, name-calling – and yes, politics does not change. The people do, the actions don’t.

But what shocked me most was the media bias.

It was reported, gleefully, that Theresa May had wiped the floor with her opponent. Now regardless of your politics, if I’d seen this the other way round I’d have been just as shocked. It’s not that she’s Tory, but that her body language (leaning forward to intimidate), her tone (aggressive), her words (demeaning, bullying, and cruel personal insults), and her expression (calculated revulsion and sneers) spoke volumes.

Since when is someone considered strong because they can insult someone better than someone else?

Since when has great leadership consisted of putting down the opposition?

The media reporting was and has been very biased towards one party. Maybe this has a great deal to do with Rupert Murdoch owning the media brands we listen to or read. But the media bias has been so strong lately that it needs looking into and changing. The BBC is supposed to be unbiased, but is it?

These two reports: BBC admit intentionally damaging Corbyn leadership with contrived live resignation, and the Independent’s Our report found that 75% of press coverage misrepresents Jeremy Corbyn – we can’t ignore media bias anymore, show just how much damage is being done in the name of the media. Whether you like Labour’s Jeremy Corbyn or not, you can’t help notice the media portray him as a loser. I watched the interview with Andrew Marr recently, and found a calm, well-spoken politician who put across a strong vision for Britain, but the media don’t show that in general. He is spoken of as unelectable, yet the people have voted in their droves for him.

I’d like to see both leaders taken seriously, and both leaders to take their responsibilities seriously too. I felt that Corbyn had nothing to say during Brexit, maybe he didn’t, but maybe it was just unreported. I also commented during Brexit that the Liberal Democrats had been conspicuously absent. But when I spoke to a Lib Dem supporter, he assured me that Tim Farron had been at many rallies, spoken well and was well-versed in his opposition to Brexit, but I hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him on British media. On the other hand, UKIP was totally over-represented considering they have less members of parliament than the Lib Dems (UKIP: 1, Lib Dems: 8). The Greens and UKIP have one member of parliament each, yet, who did you see more of during Brexit?

Fair reporting is one thing I’d like to see.

The other is less lies, I’d like to see no lies, but that is probably both unlikely and impossible! The lies during Brexit were breath-taking in their arrogance, but I won’t go into that, done and dusted.

I am seeing the same thing in American politics, and fear the same outcome in their Presidential Election. Outright lies, xenophobia, and scare-mongering. The fear of having Donald Trump become President of the United States, outweighs my fear over leaving the EU one hundred fold, despite the problems leaving the EU is bringing. Our pound is unstable, and has lost a lot of ground against foreign currency, this means something to me as I send my son money in Canada, and where £50 would have given him $100, it now only gives $85. That’s a big loss when every penny counts. Food prices here are rising and we have yet to see where trade goes. Hopefully as a country we can make the best of it. But Donald Trump? I’m on the Nope Train with that one.

Who Lies More: A Comparison by Robert Mann

The reporting in the US is diabolical and much of the electioneering is about honesty or dishonesty. This chart shows how damaging the reporting is. From my newsfeeds and the media I’ve seen surrounding Trump and Clinton (and incidentally, Obama, who I’ve had great respect for) both are seen as unethical and dishonest. I’ve even seen Hillary Clinton bandied about as being criminal. This article Lying Liars Who Lie: 2016 Edition, (ignore the religious tones if that’s not your thing the sentiment is still the same) points out that Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Bernie Sanders, and Jeb Bush, are some of the most honest politicians around. Then you can take a look Donald Trump’s results…

Sometimes I wonder at people.

Edited on 26th July 2016 (day before posting): Having just watched Michelle Obama’s DNC (Democratic National Convention) speech, I feel things can change. It doesn’t matter which side you are on, it’s her interest and passion we need to change how politics work. Ignore who she supported if you’re not with Hillary Clinton, but notice how Michelle speaks, how she offers truth and facts with passion and without putting down the opposition with a cruel personal attack. That’s how I want my politics.

“When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don’t stoop to their level. No, our motto is: when they go low, we go high.” – Michelle Obama DNC Speech 2016

Michelle Obama DNC Speech 2016 Photo taken from You Tube video

This post was not written to further my political views, but to show much I wish politics could change.

There is no strength in bullying, intimidating, or invalidating the opposition.
There is no honour in lying to the public.
There is no humanity in deceit.
So why do we fall for it and could it ever change?

Can politics and the media surrounding it ever become honest and not corrupt?

*Note on comments: everyone is allowed a valid opinion, but if any comments are deemed attacking, aggressive, or inciting they will be removed or unapproved. Don’t feed the trolls.

Llandeilo Book Fair – Finding Books

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Last Saturday I took part in my first book fair
and the Llandeilo Book Fair was a lovely experience!
I found my next book, did you?

I arrived at Llandeilo Civic Hall and let my nerves settle as I found my table and set up. I was actually very happy to be at the rear of the hall, a position that suited my anxiety as I could see all about me from a favourite place of mine – the corner at the back!

Lisa Shambrook Llandeilo Book Fair 2016 table

My book fair table

We were open from 10.30 to 4.30 and my daughter, Bekah, accompanied me. We learned much from the fair and the other authors, all of whom were so friendly, and most I recognised from social media. So much fun meeting people I’d only chatted online with before!

photo by Graham Watkins

Having never done a book fair before, I wondered if I was doing it right. My table set up was good, but I think I’ll be looking for a more professional table cover, one that reaches the floor. I got lots of marketing ideas from observing other stalls, but I think I did okay. I had decided to set each of my books at £5, but I think most other sellers were selling at cover prices, so maybe next time I’ll stick with £5.99 and £6.99 prices as on my books and maybe an offer for multiple sales. My banner was cool and I had both Hope Within bookmarks and business cards to offer for free.

lisa shambrook books, hope within novels, amaranth alchemy, bookspine bookmarks, bookpage bookmarks,

My books and Amaranth Alchemy bookmarks

In addition to my books, Beneath the Rainbow, Beneath the Old Oak, and Beneath the Distant Star, Bekah and I brought Amaranth Alchemy bookpage and bookspine bookmarks to sell. It was really sweet to sell one bookspine bookmark to a lovely lady who recognised a title that her Grandmother had once owned!
Memories are powerful.

I won’t list all the attending authors, you can find them in my website news posts, but it was so much fun to make new friends! And to meet another BHC author who was visiting from Norway, Shane K P O’Neill. It’s a small world when you realise you share contacts, and it was also a lovely surprise to find Lizzy approach me and tell me her friend had encouraged her to come to the fair, and we discovered we had Michael Wombat in common! It’s so funny when you need to trade Twitter names to recognise each other! So many new Facebook friends…

With Shane K P O’Neill and with Lizzy Welshcake

Llandeilo Book Fair 2016 photo by Graham Watkins

Llandeilo Book Fair – photo by Graham Watkins

The day was great; I sold a good number of books for my first event and loved discovering new books, ideas, and friends. I learned lots of things. I learned to chat with prospective customers, compliment them, say hello and make conversation – not an easy thing for a true introvert, but well worth doing. We were quick to see that people didn’t always pick up freebie bookmarks, so handing them out with a comment and a smile is well-received. I discovered, when looking back at photos of my set up, the reason that most people picked up Beneath the Old Oak to peruse first was probably because it was the only one of the three books standing upright. I also found out that I grin a lot – see photos – I really enjoyed myself! And I realised my nerves were unfounded.

Llandeilo Book Fair 2016 with Carol Lovekin and Rebecca Bryn

With Carol Lovekin, Jane, and Rebecca Bryn

Llandeilo Book Fair 2016 Lisa Shambrook and Christoph Fischer

With Christoph Fischer

I am very much looking forward to attending more book fairs in the future. Thank you so much, Christoph, Judith and all those involved for a great day!

Don’t forget that if you didn’t make it to the book fair, or if you just live too far away – I mean, oceans separate me from many of you – all my books and other books I’ve contributed to are available online.

My website has all the links you need. Signed paperbacks are also available from my Etsy shop, Amaranth Alchemy, so you haven’t missed out!

And I mentioned I’d found my next book – Carol Lovekin’s Ghostbird…

See you next time!

How to Create a Strong Author Platform that Works for You

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How do you create a positive and visible author platform?
How do you bring readers to you instead of having to search them out?

Having published, with or without the help of Traditional Publishing, you will need a platform. The book market is saturated and if you publish and sit back waiting for people to find you and your books, you may be waiting interminably. Even traditional publishers require a huge amount of author input and rely on you having a good social media platform to begin with. So where do you start?

I began with Facebook. I had a personal account with strong privacy settings, but that won’t inform the world about your books beyond your friends and family. So, you’ll need a Facebook Page. There’s a lot of debate about whether Facebook’s algorithms make Pages worthwhile, but it’s still a good place to start and build up a following. It’s important to note that unless you and your followers/likers interact it’s unlikely your posts will be seen, so make an effort to interact and post regularly.

Facebook allows you to add several great functions to your Page. The Call to Action button allows you to add a link to your shop/Amazon, so people can immediately find your product. Add the Author Marketing App so you can add your books either manually or via their ISBN and have easy access to all your books from your Facebook page.

Then there’s Twitter. I cut my teeth on Twitter before anything else. I wanted everyone to know about my book so joined Twitter – I will be forever grateful, though, that I never crammed my twitter feed with my books above interacting. There it is again that word – interact – the most important word on social media. Even if you’re only using social media for marketing, you are building relationships first and foremost. Don’t underestimate the value of friends and relationships online.

Make sure your Twitter Bio is strong, a brief introduction to you and your audience. Add a link directly to your books or website or blog whichever is your primary source for information and sales. And Twitter is the Queen of Hashtags so use them – in your bio and in your tweets – to help people find you and your content.

Some Twitter etiquette advice:
Don’t be the person who Tweets endlessly about your books and nothing else – and don’t RT endlessly everyone else’s books. People will tire of a stream of book ads and will either turn off your RT’s or unfollow you.
Don’t use DM (Direct Messages) unless you are actually contacting someone for a reason, and not to advertise yourself. If you DM me as soon as I follow you with ‘Thanks for following you can find my books (here) and my FB page (here) and please buy my books – because I’m getting desperate…’ then I will unfollow you. Direct Messages are almost sacred and should be used sparingly, as such. By all means when you’re followed tweet the new follower with a welcome message and interact with them, but don’t use DM’s unless you are asking them something that can’t be shared publicly.
I will also unfollow those who Tweet ‘I’ve had 26 unfollowers today – I know who you are…’ Nobody cares who follows or unfollows you and if I see you using this app when I check out your feed before following, you’ll have lost me straight away.
Some people believe Twitter is all about numbers and how many followers you have. Maybe that works. However, I follow someone because I’m interested in what they might have to say not because I just might, and might is the operative word, sell you something. If I had hundreds of thousands of people to follow I’d never be able to interact and to create friendships and relationships, and for me Twitter gave me friends and a writing community which I adore.

Google+ is important, more because its content is indexed and it helps you raise your profile and online rankings. I don’t understand a lot about SEO, but I do know that if someone shares your content on Google+ that post will rank higher and can be found within the hugeness of the web much more easily. I find Google+ difficult to work with, but persevere and benefit from it. Create your Brand Page or personal page in a similar way to Facebook and interact.

Your Amazon Author Page is of utmost importance when you’re starting out. It shows up with your books on their sale pages on Amazon and adds dimension and interest. Think about when you search for a book on Amazon – when it comes up you read the blurb and scroll to check out the author. This is their Amazon Author Page. Go to Amazon Author Central (and there are several: .com, .co.uk and other countries) and fill it out. Link up your blog on the .com site and add your author photo and books. People can also follow you and get updates when you release a book.

The next few social media sites are more optional, but worth signing up to and using. Of these Pinterest is the most useful and fun. Pinterest is a giant online noticeboard, you can pin pictures and return to them whenever you wish! Each picture should link to an article or blog post from whence the picture came. Many links are broken on Pinterest, but you can utilise Pinterest by adding great pictures to your own blog posts and adding a ‘Pin It’ tag. Make sure any pictures you use are yours to use and don’t fall foul of copyrights.

Other useful sites are Flipboard, Stumbleupon, Snapchat and Tumblr. I also love Instagram. Instagram is becoming more useful for marketing as you can post your own ads and personal interest pictures for your followers. Who doesn’t like knowing more about their favourite author’s personal life and what makes them tick or what inspires them? You can share your Instagram pictures on most other social media and spread the love!

Blogs are the best way to get your writing out there and to find new readers. I began blogging on Blogspot, posting my Flash Fiction to a number of sites I followed: Five Sentence Fiction, Visual Dare, Mid Week Blues Buster to name but a few. These sites and exercises helped me to hone my writing and my skills and made me a far better writer than I was. Slowly, my own writing took over my time and my flash fiction decreased.

I re-evaluated my blog and transferred it to WordPress, a site I find much more writer friendly. I had no idea what to post, but blogging is an important way to keep a presence on the internet and to keep my writing public. Often, we writers sit at home and churn out the words, but until a book is released no one sees us and blogging can keep you in the public eye. I decided to pick a few subjects that I loved and wanted to write about, and that fit well with the books I had or was writing. I chose to write about Nature; Mental and Emotional Health; Positivity and Dreams; and writing and reading. Mixed in would be fun posts about whatever took my fancy and flash fiction! I adore nature, the outdoors and its beauty, and nature inspires my writing a great amount, and it meant I could add my own photographs and pictures of flowers and trees! Mental health and reducing its stigma is personally important and I would be able to share my own issues and helps. Dreams and fighting for what you believe is another passion of mine, and all three of these subjects are paramount in my ‘Hope Within’ books, so I love writing and sharing about them!

It’s up to you what you blog, the most important thing is to choose what you love, what’s important to you, and not to get bogged down. You need to love what you’re writing about.

A few tips on blogging:
Love what you write.
Know what you write.
Link back to great sources.
Get and be guest bloggers.
Use your own photographs and pictures to avoid copyright issues, or find free image sites.
Be consistent, in both posting and how you post. Your blog will become part of your brand.

Your website is a first stop for most of those searching for you online. They might have seen your business cards, ads, or just heard about you. They need to be able to find you.

Your website might be your blog too. Make sure it’s clean, strong, and consistent with your brand.
I choose to have a Weebly website and a WordPress blog, both link easily to each other via one click. Be sure they do, like me your blog may be named differently to your personal brand, and it needs to be linked. People may find you via your website or blog, so make sure all your social media are linked on both sites. Links to your other media are imperative. Keep them clean and easy to find.

I have several pages on my website: a home page with ads and my author picture; an about page; a book page with links to all my publications; a page of reviews – you can see what readers have thought about my books; a news page; an extras page with downloadables, gallery, fun facts about me, and a few snippets of my flash fiction – try before you buy; and a contact me page with my media kit. I then have direct links to my Blog and Etsy shop! Make your website fun, informative and accessible.

Once you’ve decided what platforms are important to you, stick with them. You may start using Pinterest and decided it’s not for you. There are no right or wrong answers. No one will force you to interact on Twitter if you hate Twitter! Many people will tell you they sell enough books purely by blogging, or whichever social media suits them. Many will tell you they can’t sell any books despite having every social media set up they can find. You need to learn what works for you. Unfortunately to sell books, you need to market and unless you have a great deal with a publisher right behind you, that job is going to be yours.

My last tips are:
Consistency is vital. Use the same author photo across the board on your public platforms. I have a different personal profile pic for my own Facebook, but that’s mine, not my author profile.

On the same note, use the same name. I used to call myself LastKrystallos on Twitter, and you’ll still find The Last Krystallos as my blog name, but changing all my social media to Lisa Shambrook means that I’m much more easily searchable and discoverable. Though my blog is still called The Last Krystallos, you will see that my name and author picture are very visible.

Intersperse your links to your books/blog posts/ads etc with genuine conversation and interaction especially on Twitter and Facebook. You are a person, not a repetitive bot, let people get to know you. If I like someone I’m 100% more likely to buy their writing than if they bombard me with ads and links. Interact.

I hope some of this will be useful to you and will help you create your online presence.
I hope that you’ll interact and discover friends and supporters like I have,
who will delight in both your words and in you yourself!

Let me know if you have any further platform building tips?

What’s in a name? Choosing your social media brand…

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How do you choose your social media brand,
the name you’re going to be known and recognised as?

Many new to social media and those looking to brand themselves online wonder where to start when asked to choose a name.

For some it will make sense to stick closely to your given name, especially if you’re a writer or your product bears your own name. For others you can introduce a little more fun or intrigue, whichever you prefer!

When I first joined Twitter, I was shy and was faced with quickly choosing a name to sign up with. I grabbed my favourite dragon and title of a yet to be finished novel, and became @LastKrystallos.

I had no idea how important this name would become to me.

When I began writing my series of dragon adventure novels over a decade ago, I researched names to call my dragons. I have several, which I won’t name here, but as my last Krystallos has been out there for a while, I’ll talk about him.

Kryos, my last Krystallos and my social media moniker*, is a dragon that lives within my fantasy tales…he’s been featured in several Flash Fictions: Love, and Memories, and the latter piece placed in a contest. I wanted a name that meant something to me, that would be instantly recognisable and that people would ultimately connect with me.

Last Krystallos Publishing

*I joined Twitter back in 2011 and have since become @LastKrystallos on Instagram, I am The Last Krystallos on Flickr and eBay, on my now defunct Blogspot and on WordPress. I comment on Blogger blogs with Last Krystallos, and write flash fiction under it, and many other sites also are familiar with my nickname. I use my own name on Pinterest and Google+. I am also owner of the Last Krystallos Publishing imprint and both myself and my books are linked intrinsically to the name.

If you Google ‘Krystallos’ you can find me, and if you search ‘Last Krystallos’, it will be pretty much predominately my sites. I’ve also tagged almost all my online photographs with the name too, so they appear quickly within image search parameters.

My Blog banner containing my blog name and branding... © Lisa Shambrook

Now what does this say? Firstly, your name will spread, it will appear across the span of the internet faster than you think and once there, it will remain. Secondly, that your choice is of great importance. If your name is out there, you need to be sure it’s the name you want and are comfortable with.

My website - note consistent photo, colours and imagery © Lisa Shambrook

Consistency is very important. My branding of Lisa Shambrook as the Last Krystallos is successful; the two names will always be associated. I am careful that across my social media I use the same names, the same photographs, logos, and images. For instance, this blog has the same background as my website and I use the same author photograph to identify myself. You’ll find different photos on my personal Facebook page, but my Author Page and in general my social media will be easily identifiable as mine. Your social media are an extension of you and recognition is paramount.

Also remember, as you progress you will need to periodically update. When you change your professional media photograph remember to change it across your media.

So, when choosing your name:

Be sure you think about what you want to be known as, it’s going to be very difficult to change once it’s out there. Is it memorable, can people spell it?

Choose carefully and research the name you want to use. Don’t choose a name that is already associated with another person or product, or you may drown amid their surge. For instance if someone wanted to brand themselves Krystallos, one Google search would show my social media presence and my association may damage theirs, or vice versa. Also, none of us want to tread on someone else’s feet!

Research the meaning of the name you wish to use, be sure it has no derogatory connotations or hidden meanings.

Find a name and stick with it, be sure to use it across the board so you can be instantly connected to that signature.

Have fun with it, even if you use your own name, you can find an identifiable tag line. Play with ideas, but take your time to choose the right one.

Short and sweet, memorable and different, unusual and intrinsically you…what suits you?

What are some of the more memorable names out there? Why did you choose the name you have?

*EDITED August 2015: I have since decided to change my opinion on Twitter and Instagram particularly. I am now known as @LisaShambrook on Twitter and Instagram.

The reasons are to offer more consistent branding and to be more easily discovered. After all, if my books are known by my name, and they are, then that’s what readers will search. I stand by my love and reasons for The Last Krystallos and my blog will remain the same as it is my personal place. However, I do agree that using your own name, especially as an author, will ultimately make your brand stronger and more identifiable. Make it work for you, but keep it easy to find!