We experience being conditioned in so many ways.
All around us feelings and beliefs are becoming stronger and more opined.
Conflict is everywhere and people are more resolute in their choice of thinking,
but are we thinking for ourselves?

Voices are louder, and opinions and dogmas more exacting. We are polarised as people, from our conflicting beliefs in religion, politics, global warming, refugees and immigrants, war, basic human rights, gender, sexuality, diversity and so much more. Why are we so divided, and are we being manipulated?

Every principle for personal growth, once institutionalised, shifts from serving as a vehicle for self-actualisation to serving the actualisation of the vehicle itself. We are no longer nurtured, but managed. – Matt Berry, A Human Strategy, quoted in The Pattern of the Double Bind in Mormonism

The information we consume is biased. Barely any information these days is impartial. The material we use to develop our thoughts, opinions, and beliefs are often flawed,  at best just by people’s innocent preferences and at worst we’re being controlled by institutions like religions, politicians, social media, news and media, and both data and opinions forged from others with motives.

We are beginning to understand how our minds and our cognitive structures work in a scientific nature. We live in a now society, we don’t have time to question, to wait and ponder, and we grab at ideas that appeal to us. Those that give us information can teach, liberate, offer positive ideas, build us up, offer compassion and inclusivity, and create peaceful societies. But they can also be destructive, controlling, abusive, oppressive, inciting conflict, and creating a divisive and dangerous society.

Why do we fall for the smooth talk of con men and politicians – if they’re not one and the same in some instances? These models can be either subtle or very open, but millions fall for them. How do we move from being nurtured to being managed?

If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back. – Carl Sagan, Demon Haunted World

To learn, find knowledge, and form opinions we use cognition. Cognition is reasoning, understanding, and intellect. Two other powerful emotional forces go hand in hand with cognition: consonance and dissonance. Consonance is a feeling of harmony, being in accord, the pleasure of knowing you’re right, and it’s a feeling we all seek because it makes us feel good! Dissonance is the opposite; conflict, discord, and disagreement, and that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you might just be wrong. When our cognitions clash, we either fight it struggling to find resolution, or we embrace the opportunity of learning and discovering. We often prefer to prove ourselves right and feel better, than to admit that we are wrong, and find that we need to change or alter our preconceived ideas or beliefs.

Religions, these days, often use soft conditioning, drawing us in with love and ideas of saving and rescuing us, then slowly teaching us doctrines and requirements, leading to bringing us round to their way of thinking. Old style fire and brimstone is much rarer these days as people are less enticed by it in our climate. Politicians also work slowly on us, leaning in on general fears and needs in society. We fall into accepting the things we’re taught. After all we’ve been programmed to accept knowledge imparted to us by parents and teachers from a very young age. We believe many things simply because they’ve been taught by people we love and trust.

I never questioned the religion I’d been brought up in as a child because it was simply the way we lived. It was right because my parents had taught it, and my parents not only knew everything, but loved me and wanted the best for me. So, going to church wasn’t a choice, it was a given, the same as going to school was.

As a teenager that changed because I started thinking for myself, but when you believe something so thoroughly, dissonance is a painful process. When someone tells you “You only believe this because it’s all you’ve ever known,” there’s a dissonance that hits so hard you either have to face it and question it, or you ignore the discomfort and justify, rationalise, or deny it. I denied it. I couldn’t face the pain of what I’d known all my life to be wrong. That’s not to say I didn’t question it, I did and it hurt. But I also listened to what I’d been taught, and then tried my hardest throughout my twenties to convince myself I was the perfect Mormon.

After all, there is no need to be objective when you know you are right. – Chris L. Morin, Suddenly Strangers

It’s easier to continue to believe what you think is right, instead of researching and finding out you might not be.

We all have bias, even if we can’t see it.

Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favour, and recall information in a way that confirms or supports one’s prior beliefs or values. – Wikipedia

Our brains work with patterns, and when we use them our cognition grows, patterns help the neurons in our brains connect information and create knowledge. So, confirmation bias can be good as it shows us that ‘so and so must be true because then such and such always happens,’ confirming its truth. It’s how we create and understand language, maths, and science for example. It’s also why when there’s a discrepancy, it can be easier to discount or ignore it because it doesn’t make sense, and things should make sense.

I’m using my religious experience to demonstrate this because it’s easy for me to recognise it. When I was young and learned difficult things about the history of the religion I was brought up with, for example polygamy or the Mountain Meadows Massacre (where Native Americans were slaughtered by a group of pioneers), I ignored it, or found ways to make it either palatable or an acceptable part of Mormon history. I concentrated about the good things in that religion and told myself I couldn’t possibly understand all the difficult things and I wasn’t expected to, and that God would make it right in the end. I reinterpreted what I didn’t like or didn’t understand.

I saw another example when I recently watched an episode of ‘Go Back to Where You Came From’ on Channel 4, a programme taking several Brits with highly racist and anti-immigration views, to places many immigrants try to escape and come to Britain from. One of the women on the show believed that all immigrants should be stopped no matter what they’ve been through, but when she arrived in Somalia she experienced the fear they live under and was genuinely frightened for her own safety. After a few days seeing what Somalians go through in a city without adequate governance, laws, safety, and in utter poverty, she spoke again. This time though she’d been visibly moved she was unable to give up on her prejudice, and commented that it wasn’t her responsibility to help these people, and that what was required was for them (the people) to make a government, to get sanitation, and to build an economy. She couldn’t understand that none of these things could happen while the country was still in a state of war and conflict. She couldn’t deal with cognitive dissonance and moved to confirmation bias instead.

All I want is compliance with my wishes, after reasonable discussion. – Winston Churchill

We give into our biases because it’s easier than recognising them and changing them. Where does bias or opinion come from? Parents, upbringing, social standing, friends, teachers, religions, politics, social media, leaders, all affect our thinking. Obedience to authority is ingrained from the beginning.

Blind obedience is dangerous and confining. Think of Hans Christian Andersen’s – The Emperor’s New Clothes. When two con men arrived and weaved new clothes for the Emperor that they said were invisible to those who were incompetent or stupid. Neither the Emperor nor his minions could admit that they were invisible without being seen as fools. So, the Emperor wore his new clothes out in the street and all the people uncomfortably went along with it, not wanting to appear stupid. It took a child to point out that the Emperor was naked for the townsfolk to agree that they’d been fooled.    

We often agree with something, even if it’s uncomfortable, because it’s easier, or we don’t want to think we’ve been fooled.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. – Voltaire, Miracles and Idolatry

The dogma of the group reflects the psychology of the leader. – Dr. Michael Welner

Don’t set yourself aside. Your intellect, knowledge, and learning are constantly developing. Don’t let organisations or individuals control your knowledge, and the information you can gather to make educated choices. If you are told, or directed to only find information in one place, then challenge that. Look elsewhere, talk to more people, and learn more widely. Seek truth.

Past events, it is argued, have no objective existence, but survive only in written records and in human memories. The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. And since the Party is in full control of all records, and in equally full control of its members, it follows that the past is whatever the Party chooses to make it. – George Orwell, 1984

I shudder at the list of apparent falsehoods for which I would have given my life. – Brad L. Morin, Suddenly Strangers

We have power in thinking, questioning, studying, and learning. We need exposure to different opinions, information, and cultures to be able to form well-rounded thoughts and concepts. If we’ve only ever been exposed to one sort of culture than we cannot possibly believe we understand what another thinks, or how another lives. That just encourages the believe that we know what is best according to how we’ve chosen to live our lives, and that others should be doing the exact same thing. So many different ways of life exist on this planet, and all peaceable ways that don’t choose to hurt another are equally valid, even if they’re different to our – or the majority – choice.

What a tragic loss that often we are exposed to only one religious or philosophical view. In this group-facilitated…narrow-mindedness we find the roots of prejudice, bigotry, and hatred. – John D. Goldhammer, Under the Influence

So, can we reject the conditioning we’ve been through? Can we even recognise it? It can be incredibly difficult to recognise and accept when we’ve been conditioned or controlled. We generally believe our thoughts are truly our own, and it’s a tough pill to swallow to recognise we need to change to alter our thought processes or our beliefs.

It took me a long time, a lot of soul searching, and a great deal of questions – which were refused answers – in my faith, before I was able to accept that the history of my church and its founder were not as clear cut or favourable as I’d been taught they were. Following that, it’s like if you pull one brick from a tower – or Jenga – then everything fails or falls. But it mattered to me that what I followed was correct, both morally and honestly. Leaving a religion like I did, or changing your mind and seeing things differently when you learn and accept reliable information, is powerful and edifying.

It is morally as bad not to care about whether a thing is true or not, as long as it makes you feel good, as it is not to care how you got your money as long as you have it. – Edmund Way Teale, Circle of the Seasons

We are individuals, and we can overcome conditioning if we activate our thought processes and authenticate what we learn. If we are struggling with information that opposes what we’ve been taught, the best thing we can do is to move aside and evaluate.

…we can best see a group or an entire culture for what it really is by removing ourselves from it. – John  D. Goldhammer, Under the Influence

Find yourself. Don’t be influenced by social media and its celebrities, or political parties that shout the loudest. We can easily see the damage around us from false media and news reporting, from biased data and statistics, from information that masquerade as facts, and from cults – both political and religious – that want us to follow them unquestioningly. Questions and information are power. We should always use our intelligence to decipher the truth and follow it with courage, ethics, compassion, and love.