Category Archives: My Family

Another Time, Another Place…Bekah’s Art

Today we saw Bekah’s Art Exhibition at school…some of the work there was very impressive, and I am obviously biased that my daughter’s was pretty good too!

The first theme she worked on was Mental Health. She took photos depicting six areas of mental health: Depression, ADD, Anxiety, Tourettes, OCD and Insomnia. She then made a strait jacket, tea-dyed it and attached the photos. This became her installation in a black curtained room with an abstract video playing alongside:

Her second theme was ‘ Explore Another Time, Another Place’ and she began with retracing iconic ‘looks’ of the past century: She recreated their make up and portraits:

She then moved on to recreating the character theatrical looks for Tim Burton’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’:

Cait, Dan and I allowed Bekah to make us up as Alice, the White Rabbit, the Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts, she made herself up as the Knave.

She designed a pair of shoes to indicate ‘stepping into another time and place’, and decorated them with period jewellery, keys and watches to match the theme. The keys also showed being locked in another place…and this took her to nightmares and the ordeal Cait endured being made up as a Zombie:

There’s a funny story attached to the zombie look…Bekah completed the make up and she and Cait ran down the front garden steps to take photos on the road outside the house. They took the pictures and Cait overacted as a zombie would. It was only moments later when they noticed a bemused family sitting in a car behind ours watching the scene with astonished expressions! They were next door’s family visiting…didn’t expect a zombie invasion when they arrived! When they saw Cait, un-made-up the following day they commented with a smile that “she looked alot better, much more healthy!”

All images and content by Bekah Shambrook (& Lisa Shambrook) (Please do not reproduce without permission)

Her installation and display is to be photographed by the school and sent off to the examining board, as requested, as an example of A* work… so there we are.

I love art, I love painting, scrapbooking, sketching, photography and any other art, so I have loved watching Bekah’s talent develop and look forward to seeing so much more!

Brighton Rocks…

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Oooooh, after a weekend in my hometown…I have to admit I really miss Brighton!

I’ll tell you what I miss most…the seaside, I used to live one mile from the ocean and now I’m many more miles away from it.

That’s not to say I’m not happy with the welsh beaches I live close to, I adore the sandy shores of Pendine, Pembrey and Llansteffan…miles and miles of broad sandy beaches, perfect for walking the dog, splashing through the waves and soaking up the sun. They don’t get as busy as Brighton beaches and they are my favourite places to be.

But, and it’s a big but, I miss my childhood beaches of Brighton and Hove. I don’t understand why, but I even have fond memories of climbing up from the sea, across the pebbles ‘ouch’, hopping and stepping carefully to find your towel, placed strategically far up the beach… I remember wandering, again stepping carefully, across the beach trying to find the patch of sand that you know is there…but where? Then you find it… A metre square patch of golden sand…what a find, a real treasure! And sitting on the pebbles, throwing stones at drinks cans lodged ten feet away! And I love the ‘plop’ of stones as they arc and plunge into the sea as they escape your hands.

I love the big stone groynes placed between the beaches, I can remember spending warm evenings sitting on the end of these watching the sun go down and enjoying friendships and romances! I loved late evenings watching the sunset with the ocean stretching out in front of me…

I remember the magic of walking on the Palace Pier as a young girl, and staring down through the weathered wooden boards at the green ocean twinkling and sparkling in the sunlight below. The salty smell of the ocean and the wind rippling through my hair…I relived all these last week!

So I miss Brighton…I think there’ll always be a magic in your place of birth that you won’t find anywhere else!

Peace within myself…

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I am finally learning how to be at peace with myself…

It has a great deal to do with my faith, and somewhat forgetting myself.

Spencer W. Kimball once said: ‘My life is like my shoes, to be worn out in service,’

The British government recently began a study into what makes people happy, ‘a Happiness Index to gauge Britain’s national mood’…it turns out the answer is compassionate acts of service. Their think tank decided that doing random acts of kindness makes you feel better…

Is that a surprise? Not really, my church, and many others, have been expounding this for years.

Happiness is many things, but making others happy is right up there with winning the lottery for me, higher actually because I don’t do the lottery. We all feel happier when those around us are content.

The other answer for me is forgiveness.

We’ve all been hurt before…but I have finally managed to put my previous pain behind me. A couple of years ago I read: ‘You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.’ At that point, I couldn’t do it, there were still people who made me feel bad in the pit of my stomach. Not wanting to feel that way anymore I made a concerted effort to put all hurt behind me. Not easy, by any means, I’m not talking about mild hurt here, we’re serious with this one…but I decided not to let anyone else have any control over my emotions.

It took a great deal of soul searching and time on my knees (and anti-depressants) but I have now released my demons…I’ve let them go…and I am so much better for it.

Yesterday we spent the day at the Temple and recently Vince and I have begun attending the Temple regularly…and I have finally reached the place I wanted to be…at peace…

The Temple gave me what I was looking for… We walked through the grounds, surrounded by beautiful rhododendrons, and I was at one with myself for the first time in a very long time.

I am happy, really happy, and I want to stay that way!

‘All of the most beautiful influences are quiet,

only the destructive agencies –

the stormy winds, the heavy rains, are noisy.

Love of the deepest sort is wordless,

the sunshine steals down silently,

the dew falls noiselessly

and the communication of spirit with spirit

is calmer than anything else in the world…’
(Edna Lyall, author of ‘We Two’)

Waiting for the clouds to clear…

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How long do you wait? Life has a habit of catching up with you and you learn you have to accept the things that you have been dealt. There is no escaping…
So I am waiting patiently for life to begin again.
It’s not as bad as it sounds…I suffer from Clinical Depression and can go years with no real problems then everything clouds over and I sink into a deep depression. This shows itself in constant anxiety and panic attacks.
The remedy for this is therapy and anti-depressants. Seven years ago therapy worked small miracles, but this time it’s anti-d’s on their own as the NHS don’t offer therapy and we can’t afford £35 an hour at this point!
The downside is fatigue…my family couldn’t believe how much I slept when I began taking the tablets. At first it frustrated them, but they soon admitted they preferred me tired and dozy to stressed and panicked! It has, though, left me with constant exhaustion and the need for afternoon naps, and I have zero motivation. I have lost interest and am struggling just to get the basics done every day.
Everything is an effort and I feel as though I have entered a thick fog. The clouds have descended and I have no ability to lift above them…

So now I’m just waiting for the clouds to clear and the sun to shine through…then perhaps I’ll find the impetus and energy to get moving again!
I’m waiting for my rainbow…

‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.’

Christmas Snow…

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Snow at Christmas…hasn’t happened for years here in West Wales, but this year we got to enjoy my favourite holiday season with lots of the white stuff!
Roxy loved it, racing and ploughing through it and skating on the ice…
This is the best time of the year!
I love spending time with my family, enjoying the extended holidays from school (last Christmas the children had two extra weeks off school due to snow and this year a good selection of days across December due to early snow!), decorating the tree, the baking…and the giving.
This year we made a big Christmas pudding and four small ones, the mini ones were delivered to our neighbours and some of our favourite people on Christmas Eve.
Vince has two weeks off work and I love the uninterrupted bliss as a family…late nights and late mornings, Christmas films, snowy walks, chocolates and the appreciation of Christmas gifts.
This year the boys went tech mad, X-Box 360 for Dan and a much longed for ipad for Vince…we wouldn’t see alot of them over the next few days! Us girls went a bit Pandora mad…the beads are pretty addictive, and very expensive if you go the official route! So we cheated and went the fairly inexpensive ebay route! Got the most beautiful beads to make up our own, very individual bracelets and necklaces… We were all very happy with our Christmas gifts!
So, now here we are…enjoying an excess of chocolates, roast dinners, lovely desserts…(namely roulades, profiteroles, cheesecakes and trifles), pretty decorations and time together…which is, after all, the most important thing to do during this magical season…

‘And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger…’ (Luke 2:7)

‘I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things… I play with leaves. I skip down the street and run against the wind.’ (Leo Buscaglia)

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Back in 2005 I wrote a list of 60 things I wanted to do… I’m a ‘list writer’ and with all good intentions I wanted to see how much I could do and tick off… The list included things such as: learn sign language, paint a dragon, eat a box of chocs on my own, spend an entire day just listening to my favourite music, sleep outside, fly in a helicopter, build a big sandcastle, kick autum leaves, bike ride, build a snowman, get soaked standing in heavy rain, get pampered, fly in an aeroplane, write a letter to myself to be opened in ten years, take a maths GCSE, parachute, and much more… looking back, that year I ticked of seven things, and that did not include a maths GCSE…there are much more exciting things to do in life than maths!

‘List’ people are generally not spontaneous people… I overthink everything, but last year I learned about spontanaeity!

I think the first thing was getting a dog! Vince always wanted one, but weighing up the pros and cons was my speciality and the cons would almost certainly outweigh the pros. Then Delia, who owns Roxy’s sister Sheba, offered us Roxy… and would you be able to say no to something that looked so cute and cuddly?

So in a very unusual move I said ‘yes’ and we became Roxy’s proud owners!

It snowballed from there… during Bekah’s study leave in early sum

mer we dropped off the younger children at school and drove out, on a whim, to Aberieddy, to the Blue Lagoon. 300ft of water and the feeling of swimming and diving into this quarry pool was unbelievable and totally life affirming!

After that we took a helicopter ride over Carmarthen, arranged by Vince. I went on two youth camps, in the rain… and we planned a mystery day out for the children. Edinburgh for the day! The children’s first plane trip, and an amazing experience!

But anything can be fun and create an experience, a memory… we got caught by the tide on Llansteffan beach and had to wade through the incoming sea to safety, well, our wellies were waterproof, they didn’t leak out once they were filled with sea water!

We queued for Five hours to see a Banksy exhibit at Bristol Museum… five hours in a crowded queue with three children, you

either bond or you end up wanting to strangle each other, thankfully it was the former this time!

So there are still things I want to do: parachute jump, sleep beneath the stars, eat a box of chocs on my own, build a huge sandcastle… and the message is to do it… don’t wait for the right time, the dog I put off for years is my constant companion, and she has opened up so much for our family, fun walks in the snow, autumn leaves, sand etc…

After all, life is meant to be fun…and I’m planning some more spontanaeity!

‘Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention

of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,

but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand,

wine in the other, body thoroughly used up,

totally worn out and screaming

WOO HOO! What a ride!!’

(anon)

I find ecstasy in living; the mere sense of living is joy enough. (Emily Dickinson)

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I’ve often wondered what brings real happiness… after all a couple just won £56million on the National Lottery, would that bring me happiness? Erm…probably! Yet I don’t have a fraction of that and I’m happy.

There’s no doubt that a million or two would contribute to my happiness, but money won’t be my ultimate path to happiness!

‘All you need is Love’… maybe, but not necessarily that recently celebrated Valentine love…it does help to have a soul mate and a friend, but the love I’m talking about is the love you have for yourself.

‘ To love oneself is the beginning

of a lifelong romance’

(Oscar Wilde)

I turned from a quiet and shy schoolgirl, into a teenager caught within a cage of responsibility, desperately trying to assert and rebel, to a young woman finding love and needing acceptance, but I had no idea who I was… I had become a wife and a mother, but who was I?

Are we ever truly happy with who we are? Seven years ago I extricated myself from a breakdown and set about discovering myself…

Back in 1989 I wrote: ‘I want to be everything everyone wants me to be, but I’m not sure I know how, I don’t even know how to be me…’ then in 2004 I began to exorcise my demons: ‘I wanted to be everything everyone wanted me to be, but I didn’t know how to be me, so I tore off my mask and ripped out my heart, and left my soul bare to bleed. I clenched my fists tight and screamed out loud, now I’m learning how to be me…’ It took another four or five years before I could close that chapter: ‘My heart is now open and clear to see, and I don’t feel the need to please. People can take me for what they want me to be, but I only need to be me. My heart can soar in a world of its own, and no one can stop me at all. For over the years there’s a lesson I’ve learned, and I know exactly how to be me.’

So what makes you happy? I think it’s knowing who you are and making the best of yourself and finding joy in what is around you…allow yourself the freedom of being who you are meant to be.

To me, that’s recognising your greatness within.

‘To be a star you must follow your own light,

follow your own path,

and never fear the darkness

for that is when the stars shine their brightest.’

(anon)

Happiness for me is…family, a walk in the snow with a loopy dog, throwing snowballs, laughing and being together…it is writing and losing myself in the story within my head…creating scrapbook pages full of memories…painting and drawing…knowing who I am in the great scheme of things…and sharing that love with those around me… and yes, I found myself. ♥